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2009 Year-end blurbs.

December 23, 2009 // Posted in !Share (Tags: , , , , , , , , ) |  No Comments

Didn’t think I’d still be at this let alone have a selection to pull from.

Quick Rewind: While watching, no, listening to Pat Buchanan during one of the debates, my kidneys were elbowing my jaw for space.

Flour Bumps: I envisioned her feverishly body stirring a cauldron of gumbo on her tippy toes on top of a step ladder, wailing an eye of newt mantra. One fatal slip and I’m telling the reporter the last thing I heard was “bring me more cra…?”

Don’t cha know: A towering 5.2 wannabe hip Londoner, stumbling on stilettos, in an all black ensemble complete with a full length duster sweater to mask her thighs of bovine proportions. She was compensating for her height and weight distribution issues. It worked on paper. The first time I saw her I knew I was in for a treat as she hopped on the ottoman to sit down. Imagine the legendary Edith Massey overseeing your television debut.

000011100011000011000: Their real passions are road blocks, detours and speed bumps. You can never reach your potential unless you’re challenged. Who knew Microsoft was so freakin’ deep? Dealing with Microsoft is like being in a partnership in the fishing industry until you realize you’re the first catch.

Teamwork: “No!” I hastily interrupted. “We’re both gonna fail, but I can afford the hit.”

Googolplex: I equate it to creative inspiration. That one brief moment when human aspiration conjuncts with totality; delirious wonderment erodes barriers of duality and enlightenment step forth…YES!

Round midnight: I was the picture perfect urbane MUNI-muter. 70% The Joker. 22% The Fool. 8% unknown. In total denial of my insignificance, but consciously fashion forward.

Wheel of FortuNe: Having to ask this at a taqueria is insulting. If I wanted 7-11, I’d go to Taco Bell.

Bass clef: Laughter surrounded us as we engaged in a spirited banter. I gallantly defended my right to an education and she constructively suggested I should explore effective time management skills and use the library for what its for and not as my social den.

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