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2009 Year-end blurbs.

December 23, 2009 // Posted in !Share (Tags: , , , , , , , , ) |  No Comments

Didn’t think I’d still be at this let alone have a selection to pull from.

Quick Rewind: While watching, no, listening to Pat Buchanan during one of the debates, my kidneys were elbowing my jaw for space.

Flour Bumps: I envisioned her feverishly body stirring a cauldron of gumbo on her tippy toes on top of a step ladder, wailing an eye of newt mantra. One fatal slip and I’m telling the reporter the last thing I heard was “bring me more cra…?”

Don’t cha know: A towering 5.2 wannabe hip Londoner, stumbling on stilettos, in an all black ensemble complete with a full length duster sweater to mask her thighs of bovine proportions. She was compensating for her height and weight distribution issues. It worked on paper. The first time I saw her I knew I was in for a treat as she hopped on the ottoman to sit down. Imagine the legendary Edith Massey overseeing your television debut.

000011100011000011000: Their real passions are road blocks, detours and speed bumps. You can never reach your potential unless you’re challenged. Who knew Microsoft was so freakin’ deep? Dealing with Microsoft is like being in a partnership in the fishing industry until you realize you’re the first catch.

Teamwork: “No!” I hastily interrupted. “We’re both gonna fail, but I can afford the hit.”

Googolplex: I equate it to creative inspiration. That one brief moment when human aspiration conjuncts with totality; delirious wonderment erodes barriers of duality and enlightenment step forth…YES!

Round midnight: I was the picture perfect urbane MUNI-muter. 70% The Joker. 22% The Fool. 8% unknown. In total denial of my insignificance, but consciously fashion forward.

Wheel of FortuNe: Having to ask this at a taqueria is insulting. If I wanted 7-11, I’d go to Taco Bell.

Bass clef: Laughter surrounded us as we engaged in a spirited banter. I gallantly defended my right to an education and she constructively suggested I should explore effective time management skills and use the library for what its for and not as my social den.

Don’t cha know!

March 3, 2009 // Posted in !Share (Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ) |  1 Comment

Lezbros

Lezbros

Films: Lezbro: Don’t Cha Know

USA, 2008, 12 Minute Running Time
Genre/Subjects: Gay, Lesbian, Local Filmmakers / Subjects, Music / Music Video
Language: English

DIRECTOR: Melinda Bagatelos, Dara Sklar

Reveals the unique friendship between guys and dykes in a sassy mix of faux anthropology, reality and techno-pop music video.

I was passing Place Pigale and felt beckoned in by the bright lighting. “”They must need me.”
“What’s going on here”, as I winded pass my cherished friends and throngs of autograph seeker.

“Do you want to be in a movie?”
“Me….I don’t know?”

I haven’t seen it and don’t intend to.  I did it to see if it would be a lesser irritating experience than network television.  My first taste of action was Tweek City.  That was the silver screen vehicle for my Oscar lauded debut performance that sizzled on the cutting room floor.  Straight to landfill.   I could have snatched victory out of the jaws of defeat, by spinning it as a record breaking feat but watching it with friends I was silently relieved and felt like this review:

14 out of 43 people found the following comment useful :-
Wast of time., 3 January 2007
Author: uluru-1 from Wisconsin

  • I wasted 90 minutes of my life watching this move, plus $3.50 renting it. My time would of been better spent daydreaming. And now I realize I am wasting even more time writing a review of this disaster of a movie, so my only hope is to give others fair warning that this movie is wasted time, and wasted money. The entire movie was shot in a very armature way, the plot was barely there, and it was a struggle to stay awake from the very boring beginning, to the very boring end. I would have to equate this movie from the acting, the storyline, the plot and the ending with the poorest of films. Advice to anyone considering renting this movie are save your money, save your time

HGTV’s Freestylewas my in for network television.   Run if anyone ask you to be on television.  We filmed a 12 hour day for only 15 minutes on the idiot box.  I was immediately turned off by the endless retake after endless retake.  Stand this way for the camera, move this way for the camera.  Talk to the camera. “Talk to the camera?” I’m more of the stage variety.  There are no retakes on stage.  If you mess up, be good enough to fool the audience in to thinking that was suppose to happen.  Ms. Glover wore us out with that and my all time favorite: ” When you walk out on stage, OWN it” and I’d chorus back, “no problem, Ms Glover.”  Television felt so constricted.  I failed to see anything creative.  By 2:15 PM, I wanted them GONE!  My annoyance seared through on the couch.  I had to reach deep and “get her done”.  The production manager wasn’t my cup of tea and suspected she wasn’t the crew’s favorite either.  A towering 5.2 wanna be hip Londoner, stumbling on stilettos, in an all black ensemble complete with a full length duster sweater to mask her thighs of bovine proportions. She was compensating for her height and weight distribution issues. It worked on paper.  The first time I saw her I knew I was in for a treat as she hopped on the ottoman to sit down. Imagine the legendary Edith Massey overseeing your television debut. “Hurry Hines, hurry.” “Move that lamp for the egg man.””Oh, egg man!” She was threaten by my friend to the point of snubbing her out of a lunch; however, I accomplished my main goal of getting my art on television.

After being in front of a video camera three times, I dont’ have the patience needed for filming.  I was nothing more then moving, script regeritating prop, fueled off of energizer batteries to keep things “fresh” after the ninth or so take. I’m ambivalent about the experience but I did learn a few thing, like promoting your website is a no, no. Regardless of how clever the delivery.

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